Amazing Engrish Vol 2.

Been a little busy lately and haven't been able to focus on the blog. Please enjoy a few more Engrish-y things in the meantime. The first isn't really Engrish, but some excerpts from a strange, joke English language phrase learning book called warau eikaiwa. See for yourself.

I found all of the following on an ad outside a store on my way to taiko practice.

I didn't even know what "Sodality" was until I looked it up, basically a synonym for fraternity. It's not even in Firefox's dictionary files. And that second shirt is awfully aggressive/egotistical. UNFAILING SINCE BIRTH!!!!!GRAGHHGHG!

This may be my favorite. Amazing Time. Hopefulness.

And finally, I wanted to share this amazing advertisement that's everywhere in Tokyo right now.

(The answer, of course, is Emperor Palpatine. Silly Japanese people.)

"A 32-Year Old Day Tripper"

"A 32-Year Old Day Tripper" by Haruki Murakami

    I'm thirty-two and she's eighteen, and... every time I say that to myself, it just always sounds so boring.

    I'm not yet thirty-three, and she's still eighteen... that'll do.

    The two of us are simply friends; nothing more, nothing less. I have a wife, and she has no less than six boyfriends. On weekdays she goes out with these six boyfriends, and one Sunday a month she goes out with me. The other Sundays she watches TV at home. She's as cute as a walrus when she's watching TV.

    She was born in 1963, the same year President Kennedy was shot and killed. And the first time I asked a girl out on a date. And the popular song at the time was... Cliff Richard's “Summer Holiday”?

    Well, whatever.

    At any rate, that's the sort of year she was born into.

    That I would be going on dates with a girl born that year would have been inconceivable then. Even now it feels impossible. Like going to the other side of the moon to have a smoke.

    The general consensus of our peers is that “Young girls are boring, man!” Nevertheless, these  very same guys date young girls too, all the time. So do you think they eventually discover young girls that aren't boring? Nah, it doesn't mean that at all. It's actually the boringness of the girls that attracts them.  They're just playing a complicated game, a game they honestly enjoy. A game where they wash their faces with buckets full of the young girls' boredom water, while they don't let their lady friends have a single drop.

    At least, that's how it seems to me.

    In truth, nine girls out of ten are boring things. However, girls don't realize that. Girls are young, beautiful, and full of curiosity.  The boringness of their own selves is completely unrelated to the things that young girls are thinking about.

    Yeesh.

    I have nothing to criticize them for, and again, no reason to dislike them. On the contrary, I like girls. Girls make me remember the times when I was a boring young man. That is, how should I put it, quite wonderful.

    “Hey, do you think you'd ever want to be eighteen again?” she asked me.

    “No way,” I replied. “I don't wanna go back.”

    It looked like she didn't quite get my answer.

    “Don't wanna go back... really?”

    “Of course.”

    “Why?”

    “Cause I'm fine the way I am now.”

    She thought about this for some time while resting her chin in her hands at the table, and while she pondered she spun a clinking spoon in her coffee cup.

    “I don't believe you.”

    “You better believe it.”

    “But isn't being young wonderful?”

    “Probably.”

    “So why is it better now?”

    “Because once is enough.”

    “It's not enough for me.”

    “But you're still eighteen.”

    “Hmm.”

    I caught the attention of the waiter and asked for a second beer. Outside it was raining, and from the window you could see Yokohama Port.

    “Hey, what did you think about when you were eighteen?”

    “Sleeping with girls.”

    “What else?”

    “That's it.”

    She giggled after taking a sip of coffee.

    “So, did it turn out well?”

    “There were things that turned out well and things that didn't turn out so well. Of course, there were more things that didn't turn out well, I guess.”

    “How many girls did you sleep with?”

    “I'm not counting.”

    “Really?”

    “I don't wanna count.”

    “If I were a guy I'd definitely count. Isn't it fun?”

    There are times when it seems to me that it might not be so bad to be eighteen again. However, when I try to think of what the first thing I'd do if I was eighteen again, I can't come up with a single idea.

    Or maybe I'll end up dating charming thirty-two year old women. That wouldn't be so bad.

    “Do you ever think you'd want to be eighteen again?” I'll ask.

    “Hmm, let me see.” She'll grin and pretend to think about it. “Nope. Doubt it.”

    “Really?”

    “Yup.”

    “I don't get it,” I'll say. “Everyone says that being young is a wonderful thing.”

    “Yeah, it is wonderful.”

    “Then why don't you want to?”

    “You'll understand when you're older.”

    Of course at thirty-two, if I skip even a week of running, my stomach flab starts getting conspicuous. I can't be eighteen again. That's obvious.

    After I finish my morning run, I always drink a can of vegetable juice, lie on my side and put on “Day Tripper” by the Beatles.

    “Dayyyy-ay-ay tripper!”

    When listening to that song, I start feeling like I'm sitting on a train. Telephone poles, train stations, tunnels, bridges, cows, horses, smoke stacks, garbage, steadily they all pass by, one after the other. Scenery that never changed, no matter where I was. Though in the old days, it seemed like the scenery was incredibly beautiful.

    Only the person sitting next to me would change. This time, the one sitting next to me is the eighteen year old girl. I'm in the window seat, she in the aisle seat.

    “Would you like to change seats?” I'll say.

    “Thanks,” she says. “You're too kind.”

    It's not a matter of kindness, I say with a bitter laugh. It's just that I'm much more used to boredom than you.

    A 32 year old
    Day tripper
    Sick of counting the telephone poles.

       1981/8/20

[From the collection カンガルー日和, 1986, Kodansha.]

Mistakes!! plus the text.

[For those of you confused, this post is a response to the post "A 32 Year-Old Day Tripper", which I posted a few hours right before this one. You might want to read that post first.]

Instead of fixing the last post, I'll just say what I need to say here. It's all part of the process (that's what I try to tell myself instead of being upset by my foolishness).

Well, I have to admit, I think I made some mistakes. If you Google "32 Year Old Day Tripper", there are two other translations available online. I of course read through both.

Two things struck me. One is the whole bucket of water thing. Still enough variety there for me to not throw away my own translation entirely.

However I do feel I made one big error. Right before my final long excerpt, the narrator says this:

There are times when it seems to me that it might not be so bad to be eighteen again. However, when I try to think of what the first thing I'd do if I was eighteen again, I can't come up with a single idea.
    Or maybe I'll end up dating charming thirty-two year old women. That wouldn't be so bad. 





I hate how little context is needed for a Japanese sentence to work. It's so vague. The only outright mistake I made in my translation in the next line (“Will there ever be a time when you think you'll want to be eighteen again?” I asked.) is that past tense, "asked', when in the original it's "ask", present/future.

BUT THIS CHANGES EVERYTHING!!!!

Basically, it implies the girl, only marked as 彼女, "her" is being asked this in the present and/or future. And by continuity of the conversation, it implies that the narrator is asking this 32 year old woman in his imagination, and not the eighteen year old girl he was talking to. Thus, I would probably be better suited to write: "Do you ever think you'll want to be eighteen again?" I'll ask her.

And of course, the line "Even if you're old, you know why." is just flat out wrong. It seems to be "You'll understand when you're older." Which makes sense, since in this scenario the narrator is eighteen and the woman is thirty two.

Bah. My future as a translator is compromised. I am clearly not to be trusted. This is upsetting to me. However, reading alternate translations is fun. There are things I like about theirs and things I like more in mine. The following is my revised, complete story. I might as well put it out there.

A 32-Year Old Day Tripper

Before the resolution I made to tackle Genichiro Takahashi as my next translation project, I had been 85% (made up number) done with a translation of a Murakami short-story from かンガルー日和, a simple but not easily translatable title, I think. 日和 simply means weather, usually implying "good" weather. It's the attachment to the noun that makes it a bit tricky. So I think Rubin/Birnbaum[?]'s "A Perfect Day for Kangaroo-ing" is a sweet and effective title. Whoops, getting off track already. Anyway, the story is called "３２歳のデイトリッパ". It's quite short, one of the reasons I picked it, and I was also curious about the very obvious Beatles' reference in the title.

Since I always feel the icy specter of a certain creative rights management company looming over my shoulder whenever I post things Murakami-related (probably unnecessary) I won't post the story in it's entirety here. But I do want to talk about it some. So I will.

Like I said earlier, the story is short and sweet, with not a whole lot of meat on the bones. But it does start with a curious premise, as most Murakami stories do:

    I'm thirty-two and she's eighteen, and... every time I say that to myself, it just always sounds so boring.
    I'm not yet thirty-three, and she's still eighteen... that'll do.
    The two of us are simply friends; nothing more, nothing less. I have a wife, and she has no less than six boyfriends. On weekdays she goes out with these six boyfriends, and one Sunday a month she goes out with me. The other Sundays she watches TV at home. She's as cute as a walrus when she's watching TV.

I quadruple checked the word "walrus", せいうち, since that is an awfully strange animal association. Is this girl kind of fat? Masculine (obviously I know there are both female and male walruses but the word itself seems to be undeniable "male" to me)? Or does Murakami just have a soft spot for this particular sea creature? Mysteries upon mysteries.

The narrator spends some time thinking about how strange it is to be hanging out with a girl so much younger than him. Then he starts judging people:


    The general consensus of our peers is that “Young girls are boring, man!” Nevertheless, these  very same guys date young girls too, all the time. So do you think they eventually discover young girls that aren't boring? Nah, it doesn't mean that at all. It's actually the boringness of the girls that attracts them.  They're just playing a complicated game, a game they honestly enjoy. A game where they wash their faces with buckets full of the young girls' boredom water, while they don't let their lady friends have a single drop.
    At least, that's how it seems to me.
    In truth, nine girls out of ten are boring things. However, girls don't realize that. Girls are young, beautiful, and full of curiosity.  The boringness of their own selves is completely unrelated to the things that young girls are thinking about.
    Yeesh.

The last sentence of the first and third paragraph in that excerpt drove me nuts! In the first case I just had to divide up the sentence into those parts. I'm still not entirely convinced of the accuracy of the translation (actually, I'm pretty sure of it, but it was a pretty messed up sentence), and even now it doesn't sound great, but so it goes. (This ain't being published, and I just want to get this out there and start my new project. If I was in an alternate universe were I was being paid to publish Murakami, I'd still be working on it, だよ.) "Yeesh", of course, is what I decided to use for Murakami's quintessential "やれやれ”. Maybe it's too personal a choice. How would y'all handle it? Oops, derailing again.

So, anyway, the rest of the story is mostly a conversation between the narrator and his date about whether they'd like to be eighteen again. They have a fun little banter, ultimately deciding that neither particular would want to, though for no particular reasons why either.

Again, a simple little story, that based on the above contents, makes it not particularly memorable to me. A sweet little diversion, but not surprising that it's not in any English langauge short story collections yet. However, I really like the very end. And that is what salvages the story for me.  It needs a little context, so I'll start at the end of their conversation:


   “So will there ever be a time when you think you'll want to be eighteen again?” I asked.
    “Hmm, let me see.” She grinned and pretended to think about it. “Nope. Doubt it.”
    “Really?”
    “Yup.”
    “I don't get it,” I said. “Everyone says that being young is a wonderful thing.”
    “Yeah, it is wonderful.”
    “Then why don't you want to?”
    “Even if you're old, you know why.”
    Of course at thirty-two, if I skip even a week of running, my stomach flab starts getting conspicuous. I can't be eighteen again. That's obvious.
    After I finish my morning run, I always drink a can of vegetable juice, lie on my side and put on“Day Tripper” by the Beatles.
    “Dayyyy-ay-ay tripper!”
    When listening to that song, I start feeling like I'm sitting on a train. Telephone poles, train stations, tunnels, bridges, cows, horses, smoke stacks, garbage, steadily they all pass by, one after the other. Scenery that never changed, no matter where I was. Though in the old days, it seemed like the scenery was incredibly beautiful.
    Only the person sitting next to me would change. This time, the one sitting next to me is the eighteen year old girl. I'm in the window seat, she in the aisle seat.
    “Would you like to change seats?” I'll say.
    “Thanks,” she says. “You're too kind.”
    It's not a matter of kindness, I say with a bitter laugh. It's just that I'm much more used to boredom than you.

    A 32 year old
    Day tripper
    Sick of counting the telephone poles.

                        1981/8/20

A lot of interesting things in this last section. The first and most obvious is the inclusion of another poem. Looks like early Murakami had a thing for it in his early days of writing. There's no other way to see it. It was tricky because in the paperback edition, it's basically by itself on the page, due to the layout. But there's a very clear line break (it doesn't start where the first line normally starts on the margin), and for only a handful of words it is divided up in a very specific way. Of course, due to Japanese word order it comes out a bit difference. Literally, it should be more like:

Sick of counting telephones poles
A 32 year old
day tripper.

In a way it's nicer for the composition to end with the word "Day Tripper" since it's in the title. But the most poetic image is obviously the "sick of counting telephone poles" part. So I'm willing to make the trade.  The stilted clause order is too classical Japanese for me, too Basho.

 The next bit that's interesting to me is that it ends with the date. August 20, 1981. Five years before the book was published, well after A Slow Boat to China, his first collection of short stories, was released. It almost makes me wonder if it's somewhat based on a true story that he came back. Or maybe he wrote it at the time but didn't include it in that first collection for some reason? Who knows.

Finally, something about the line "It's just that I'm much more used to boredom than you" just stirs something in me. I think it's a powerful line with a lot of weight, even though there's not all that much to it. It ties the story together to me. Then again, maybe it's just me.

And one final aside. I don't see how the original Beatles song fits into this story thematically at all. It must be just the tune that he likes. The lyrics don't fit at all. But considering the amount of English Murakami may have known back then, maybe all he could understand was, "Day Tripper. One way ticket, yah." So maybe he just associated it with travel. Traveling far away with the intention to never go back.

EDIT: Check out why I'm wrong(!!) and the entire translation of the story here

My Addiction: A List

I think I've mentioned in the past that Book-Off is a pretty awesome place. It's a very popular used book store chain. They have a section of books that are all 105 yen, both paperbacks and hardcovers, and then a slightly more expensive section for either newer books, more popular books or books in better condition (I think). For these paperbacks, it's about 250 to 350 yen, hardcovers 600 to 900 yen. The paperbacks are only a slightly better deal; the original price is usually like 500 to 700 yen anyway. The hardcovers are an amazing deal though, since they're usually about the same price in the US, around 2000 yen. Still, you might as well search for the paperback since they're more likely to have it for cheaper.

I've been in Japan for a month now, and I have accumulated a lot of books. Books that I don't necessarily need. Books I might not like or ever finish reading. And yet I can't help myself. For if they're putting these books in my face and selling them for slightly more than a dollar, how can I say no?

The point is, I think I have a slight addiction to Book-Off.

Here's what I've bought so far.　In the Haruki Murakami section we have:

1. 村上春樹、カンガルー日和
2. 村上春樹、ふわふわ
3. 村上春樹、羊男のクリスマス
4. 村上春樹、村上朝日堂 
5. 村上春樹、村上朝日堂はいほー！
   
6. 村上春樹、村上朝日堂ジャーナルうずまき猫のみつけかた
7. 村上春樹、 村上朝日堂はいかにして鍛えられたか
8. 村上春樹、蛍・ 納屋を焼く、その他の短編
9. 村上春樹、海辺のカフカ（上）
10. 村上春樹、海辺のカフカ　(下）
11. 村上春樹、ノルウェイの森（上）
12. 村上春樹、ノルウェイの森（下）
13. 村上春樹＋糸井重里、夢で合いましょう

In the authors/books suggested by others category:

1. 雫井脩介、クローズド・ノート
2. リリー・フランキー、東京トワー
3. 伊坂幸太郎、グラスホッパ

In the because I wanted to category:

1. 滝本竜彦、ネガティブハッピー・チェーンソーエッヂ
2. 高橋源一郎、君が代は千代に八千代に
3. 高橋源一郎、惑星P-13の秘密 
4. 高橋源一郎、優雅で感傷的な日本野球

So yes. A lot of Murakami. I didn't even realize I had bought this much. It's kind of embarrassing... I don't really need a copy of Norwegian Wood and Kafka on the Shore in Japanese, but again, when they come to a grand total of 420 yen, how do I say no...

Genichiro Takahashi is an author I'm currently fascinated with. The only novel he has in English is Sayonara Gangsters, but it was such a mind-blowingly cool read that I'm almost convinced he should be the next big Japanese author. I'm big into the post-modernism, but even by Murakami standards he's pretty f'ing out there. My next translation project for this site is one of his short stories, so be on the look out for that...

That first book in the others section with the long string of katakana is (for you non-speakers) comes out to "Negative Happy Chainsaw Edge". I picked it up because it's by the same author as the original Welcome to the NHK novel, which was quite an interesting read (and a lot darker than the anime adaptation, from what I recall). I once wrote a paper about hikikomori and other social issues in contemporary Japanese pop culture, and it was one of the books I referenced, so at one point in time I was quite familiar with it, but now I hardly remember much about it at all. Anyway, I'm pretty sure there's a movie version of this novel, and again, for a dollar, why not.

Kotaro Isaka is pretty huge right now. I've read a teeny tiny bit of 死神の制度, and I want to read more of it, but I picked this one up just because. My teacher actually recommended ゴールデン・スランバ, another book which was made into a movie recently, but I haven't found a copy at Book Off yet. The other two in the suggestions pile I don't know much about, except that they were also recommended by my Japanese teacher (who also recommended The Housekeeper of the Professor, which I am also a fan of). Would anyone out there recommend them?

"Bands You Should be Listening To" Volume 3: the telephones

Today's Subject: the telephones

Looking through the titles of all the songs that comprise the telephone's creative output, you may notice that the word "disco" comes up. A lot. I don't know if disco is quite the right word for describing the telephone's sound; you say disco and you think of that unique '70s sound, composed of not just a danceable beat and synthesizers, which the telephones admittedly have plenty of, but oftentimes brass and orchestral backings as well. There's no denying that the telephones make pop music, but it's pop music with a healthy dose of punk attitude, humor, and an overwhelming need to get your ass on the dance floor (another important phrase in the telephones vocabulary).

D.A.N.C.E. to the telephones!!!

They also make amazing music videos.


Where to Start: See that Youtube video right above? I personally would recommend the EP from which that music video comes from, the Love&DISCO E.P. (you guessed it). I may just be an EP kind of guy; I think there is something in my pop-culture-lovin' nature that responds to shorter, tighter pieces of pure craft than something with more (in my mind, sometimes unnecessary) volume. For me, the perfect sized novel is roughly 200 to 250 pages (for example, Sputnik Sweetheart, my all-time favorite), and some of the best TV shows are the ones that get out (or are forced out) before the creative well runs dry (i.e. Freaks and Geeks). But I digress.

I think the other place to start is where I started, their first full-length Japan. "Sick Rocks" is what started it all for me anyway. Dance Floor Monsters, their second full length and their first on a major record label (to which I say "Sell-outs!", to which I actually I mean, "Good for you, the telephones; you deserve the resources to expand your audience. Just don't let The Man change you too much." Hmm, this might be my longest aside yet!), is a solid album, certainly not a bad one, but maybe not my favorite, besides the infectious singles. Speaking of which, here's their newest, which comes off the brand-new Oh my telephones!!! ep that just came out a not even a week ago. I literally can't stop playing this song.


How to Get A Hold of 'Em: It's your lucky day! The US iTunes Music Store has both Japan and the Love&DISCO EP for download. They also have an exclusive live bundle for sale, but I wouldn't recommend it at all. I'm not sure what live show they taped it from, but it has terrible sound quality and is generally just not worth the four bucks when you're otherwise not getting anything new.

成田太鼓祭り (The Narita Drum Festival)

Last Saturday, I went to the Narita Drum Festival. It was awesome.

But, don't take my word for it. I have proof.

See? Dragons, drums, and (masked, shirtless) dudes. Awesome.

The Narita Taiko Masturi is one of (if not the) biggest Taiko events in all of Japan. It takes place in (duh) Narita, which you may recall is the city with the giant airport outside of Tokyo. It was about an hour, maybe forty-five minute trip from Nishi-funabashi Station. Basically it's just tons of performances all day by tons of different professional and amateur groups. Also, the temple(s) on Narita-san is (are) gorgeous.

True story: to preserve the history of the site, they keep all the old main-temple buildings when they decide that they need a new, bigger one. So to keep the structure in tact, they tie up the buildings with giant ropes and physically pull it (as in, with lots of human beings) to a new location. That's bad-ass.

 
Not only are the temple grounds huge (my pictures can't give a good depiction of the scale, unfortunately), it was the first time in the three weeks that I've been living in Japan that I had seen real nature. Look, a waterfall! 

Again, awesome.

Also, if you ever find yourself in Narita, be sure to get some eel. Narita is famous for it. And it is oh so delicious.

Anyway, taiko is the Japanese word for drums in general, so technically this might be better described as the 和太鼓 festival, the Japanese Drum festival. Taiko drums range in size, but they're most famous for the big-ass ones, like in the arcade game. Like this one:

(I wish I could get a closer shot, but I was far away and don't have the best camera. Still, you can see that this drum is MUCH larger than that guy.)

Taiko drum performances are really amazing to experience. It's not just about the music; it's about the performance: the bombast, the power, the choreography (yes, choreography). Even this amateur group, on one of the many smaller stages at two in the afternoon, blew my mind. Thank God I had the foresight to actually tape these performances and not just take pictures. Quality's not the best, unfortunately, I could only take it on my little digital camera:

Narita Drum Festival from wednesdayafternoonpicnic on Vimeo.

I enjoyed this festival so much that I decided to try and join a local taiko group. Apparently beginners (and foreigners) are welcome. My first practice is a three-hour session Saturday afternoon. Wish me luck!

Sardines

"Sardines" by Haruki Murakami

オイル・サーディン

おい審判
お前の目はどこについてるんだ、
俺は、昨日いわしの缶詰を食ったけど、
お前よりはずっとマシだったぞ。

Sardines

Hey ump!
What game are you even watching?
For chrissakes, I ate a can of sardines yesterday, 
and even I could do better than you!

[From the collaborative collection 夢で会いましょう、1986, Kodansha.]

Review: Yoko Ogawa's Hotel Iris

I redirect you to Three Percent, which is hosting my formal review of Hotel Iris, the latest novel by Yoko Ogawa to be published by Picador and translated by Stephen Snyder, which I promised a while ago in my Recently Read Round-up post.

I didn't like the book all that much, but I will definitely continue to be on the look-out for anything Yoko Ogawa can get published state-side.

For those of you who just can't get enough of my stylish wit and elegant prose, you can see all my other contributions to Three Percent (various book reviews mostly) here and here (one of my reviews is tagged under a slightly different version of my name).

Murakami the Poet

Another one of the myriad Haruki Murakami books I have purchased recently is 夢で合いましょう, or, Let's Meet in a Dream, a collaborative collection of myriad belle lettres he wrote along with essayist/noted video game creator Shigesato Itoi. (You can even check out some sample translations at Yomuka!)

The most interesting thing about 夢で合いましょう, however, is the inclusion of some pieces of writing by Mr. Murakami that...well, they're poems.

They belong to what Murakami dubs the "Yakult Swallows Poetry Anthology" (the Yakult Swallows being a Japanese baseball team). Their titles imply a sense of varying topics. But they are mostly basball related. For example:

 オイル・サーディン

おい審判
お前の目はどこについてるんだ、
俺は、昨日いわしの缶詰を食ったけど、
お前よりはずっとマシだったぞ。


 Oil Sardine

Hey referee!
What were your eyes following,
I ate a can of sardines yesterday, but
even I was more preferable than you!

Like I said, poetry isn't really my bag, but even I know that translating poetry is an especially difficult thing to do. And the above poetry (my own) is just bad. Translation in poetry is less about the words and more about the meaning... the sound and the ideas. Poetry is about the feelings than the actual text. And language is so entwined in culture and history, going word for word is going to produce, to put it bluntly, shit poetry.  Even when trying to keep it as close to the original as possible, there are phrases that just don't translate literally.  So I say, if it's poetry, go crazy. Think outside the box. Poetry is one of the ultimate expressions of creativity. Being constrained by language goes against everything that poetry stands for.

I'm no poet, but this is what I would do.
  

Sardines

Hey ref!
What game are you even watching?
For chrissakes, I ate a can of sardines yesterday, 
and even I could do better than you!


I am not one to judge to the quality of Murakami's poetry (I imagine anyone with a passing interest in verse would tell Murakami to stick to fiction), but at least they're pretty amusing.