Amazing Engrish Vol 1.

Now that I'm in Japan, I get to see first hand the kind of crazy bad English that sweeps the Land of the Rising Sun. It is literally EVERYWHERE. Even the internet, with all it's various Engrish-related sites, cannot hope to document every piece of poor English littered on almost every advertisement and piece of clothing. Here are some of the better ones that I've come across.

This first batch is all from the same t-shirt section of my local Aeon department store.

MICHIGAN OPTIMISM. 

TENNESSEE: Contract to further enhance MEASURE

If I worry, go to Africa. Because I know my small.

Enjoy travel: A dream makes evolution, Desire famine, Play with dreams, Love famine

When there is guidance of emergency evacuation, please take shelter quickly in the course which is shown in a figure.

 Those Who Wish [moving in] Need to Inform to Following.

Animalerie 

(I guess this is less Engrish than Flenchish, a term I just made up that combines bad English and French. For another case of Flenchish, see:)

HAPPY BIARTH TO YO!!

(To be fair, this is less Engrish than some punk with a can of spray paint who didn't pay any attention in school... I think just to the right of this it says FUCK ME. It's like he thought that writing in English will make the police think it was some punk gaijin and not him.)

Life is Delicious! Eat & Joy!
(So close. It could almost be a pun.)